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Living with a service dog is wonderful, but not in the sense that most people think. People often tell me they wish the could take their dog everywhere, or want to make their dog a service dog. But what people don't understand is that Service Dogs perform tasks to help aid their handler with a disability. Having a service dog is wonderful because it allows me to overcome my disability and go out into the world, feeling safe with my canine by my side, and ready to task if things go wrong. Just by looking at me, you would not know I am disabled, and some days, I don't feel disabled. But most of the time, I am overcome with paralysing anxiety that has inhibited my life ever since I can remember.
I had no idea I was living with anxiety until I went away to college. I had been so used to fearing the world, avoiding crowds/loud noises, and social gatherings, and playing things safe. I had been having panic and anxiety attacks without even realizing it because they were such a routine part of my life. I can recall crying out with fear and feeling like I was suffocating during a family vacation to Disney world when I was as young as 6 years old. The crowd we had to walk through to the exit sent me into overload, and ruined a day that should have been filled with happy memories. I also spent most New Years Eve's in a quiet room upstairs, missing out on the celebration my family was having on the other side of the door. I never knew how bad I was suffering, and that I truly needed help, until my college roommate approached me.
She had a conversation with me, letting me know that she was sleeping at friends houses because she was afraid to come home, never knowing what kind of mood I would be in. My irritability had began driving away my best friend, and my unknown anxiety was affecting more than just myself. It was at this time, I called my mother crying, asking for help. I began seeing a mental health professional and opened up about the panic attacks I was experiencing. Out of nowhere, I would become paralized. I could not walk, I could not talk, and I could not understand what was going on in my head. My physical symptoms include hyperventilating, shaking, sweating, crying, etc. Many of these attacks come on unprompted, making them panic attacks. I also experience anxiety attacks which come on due to a trigger, or prolonged stress. I was diagnosed with panic disorder, generalized anxiety disorder, and major depressive disorder. I also show symptoms of agoraphobia and sensory processing disorder, which my service dog assists with. I would sit in my dorm room crying at night, aching to be out with my roommates, experiencing all college had to offer. However, I could not leave my room, never mind go out with a group of friends to new locations and unfamiliar surroundings. When my roommates returned, or college dorm life became too stimulating, I would escape into the night, trying to walk off my anxiety, feeling afraid an attack would hit and I would have to once again endure it alone. It was then that I longed for a companion, someone to ease the pain and be by my side during these times of loneliness and fear.
The next summer, I adopted a two year old pit bull mix from a local shelter and named her Joy. Originally, she was intended to be my emotional support animal; an animal companion awarded housing rights to those with mental health struggles with a note from a mental health provider. However, an emotional support animal does not have public access rights, and is not task trained. This means, I had to leave Joy in my dorm as I went off to class and work. As it became harder for me to go about my daily activities on my own, I researched Service dogs and immediately began Joy's training. She quickly learned what a panic attack looks likes for me, and naturally wanted to help. I trained Joy to recognize changes in my breathing, which with my anxiety, usually means hyperventilating. As my breathing becomes more rapid, Joy jumps up and paws at my chest, indicating that I need to sit or lay down before I get too disoriented. At this point, she lays across my chest or my lap, to slow my breathing which is called deep pressure therapy. She also licks my face to ground me and bring me out of dissociative episodes, called tactile touch stimulation. Once I regain control of my body, Joy steps off and allows me to return to my previous activity. With this task, my attacks are shortened and less terrifying. She is also trained to alert me to a rise in anxiety by pawing at my leg when it shakes. This allows me to recognize myself becoming anxious, and initiate her deep pressure therapy before a full blown anxiety attack comes on. In addition to these tasks, Joy can open handicap doors and turn the lights off when a migraine hits hard.
Besides being task trained, Joy is trained in public access skills so she can accompany me wherever the general public is allowed. This includes restaurants, hospitals, stores, etc. In order to be public trained, Joy had to learn how to heel at my side and adjust to my movements. She also needed to know basic obedience such as sit, stay, come, and leave it. A service dog must also be able to ignore distractions like little kids, other dogs, and people calling for their attention. As Joy began to master these skills, she started to accompany me to class, work and even the hospital when I need to go to the emergency room. A college campus is full of activity which made it the ideal place to train my service dog. The process of training a service animal typically takes around 2 years and must be consistent. I firmly believe adopting Joy, and engaging in everyday training through my junior and senior year, allowed me to finish college and receive my degree in Criminal Justice and Psychology.
By the time graduation rolled around, Joy was coming up on the end of her training. I decided my college graduation would be her final test before becoming a fully trained Service Dog. I knew there would be a large crowd, other working dogs to ignore, and a long ceremony to sit through without being disruptive. Joy was used to sitting in class with me for hours on end, followed by accompanying me to work, and enduring long days on the job. I was prepared for her to mess up and make mistakes, just like any working animal is prone to do; however, Joy ignored the other working dogs, sat through the entire ceremony without making a peep, and walked across that stage with me flawlessly. It was then I declared her a fully trained service dog, and the two of us graduated our schooling simultaneously. Since then, Joy has continued to assist me in my everyday life, and ease the difficulty of living with an invisible disability. If you see a working dog, it is crucial to the handlers health that you ignore it and proceed on your way. Our dogs are considered medical equipment and distracting one can cause a handler to become seriously injured. Service dogs are a gift to the world and are so much more than just your average pet.
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